it's not normally the policy of the Metro news paper to recognize the readers of Toronto – we here at Metro thought our pages were just used as paper towel on the sub way – but since it's the holiday season we thought we'd extand a special thank you to you all! (y'all?)
I'm sorry for taking this space in our paper away from a story that needs it (the soothsayer convention happening at Fat Albert's Coffeehouse on Dec 18th) but we run the paper so screw it. We'd like to thank Toronto for engoying our news paper this past year. Especially the headlines full of puns, they were great huh? Headlines like “Cats are a purrfect pet!” and “New Jersey's beaches going are going to get Sandy.” It was the great blend of journal-ism and tripe that we love hear at Metro. We love how boring tragidys and politics can be interupted with colums, a fun look at some guy's huge bias opinion. Whatever it's about - a restaurant he ate at, or movie he didn't understand – as long as it's not more about the middle east, right?! Jeez that stuff just keeps going. Good thing we only have two pages out of forty-eight dedicated to all that stuff, or else we'd be reading this paper forever!
So we'd like to say thank you this christmas, but we'll do it now cause we don't work on weekends or holidays. We will continyou to produce the paper you love, with the photos never corresponding with the article it's next to. Here at metro we laugh so hard whenever the headline reads “43 dead in 4 days” and the picture is of Santa – it's all we ever talk about at the soda machines! We will keep organizing our paper so that the most non-relevant news is on the cover and the world stuff is deep inside – if you're crazy enough to read that then you're crazy enough to go looking for it.
Keep on making Shareability!
Rob McLauchlin or Glen Miller (truthfully, neither of us wrote this. We just approved it.)