I'm sure everyone is wondering what I'd like for Christmas, so here's my list:
- A plate of melted snow.
- A 2013 calendar.
- A new menorah.
- My two front teeth.
- Teeth whitening strips for the rest of my teeth, so they'll match my new ones
- Tickets to see ABBA.
- Bigger eyelids
- A pen stuck in an electric pencil sharpener.
- My uncle back.
- A dog, and iPod, and an iDog
- Coal (my apartment's freezing)
- Socks
- Feet
- Elective elbow-lengthening surgery
- Toilet paper that works
- Feta-Cheesecake
- An Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle
- A REAL gun.
- VHS Copies of The Land Before Time 1, 2, and 4.
- Nine full-grown trees
- World peace (or The Worlds Peas, whichever is easier)
- A new copy of “Transylvanian Gangbangers 7” (my copy's worn out)